


Dawn of the Rebellion

by monsterleadmehome



Series: Dawn of the Rebellion [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Mother Leia knows best, Post-Canon, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Rey is still in denial, Soft boi Ben, UST, might as well be a Christmas Carol AU with all the Force ghosts appearing to Ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-03-18 20:36:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13689360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monsterleadmehome/pseuds/monsterleadmehome
Summary: After the events of Crait, Rey and Ben use their bond to work through their issues. The Light pulls more strongly than ever on Kylo Ren's fragile facade. Will a reconciliation with his mother, General Leia Organa of the Resistance, be the impetus he needs to come back home?Or my wish fulfillment for Episode IX.A multi-chapter follow up to my one-shotMidnight in the Resistance Base.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> After the warm response to my one shot, [**Midnight in the Resistance Base**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13274220), I've decided to follow it up with a multi-chapter fic!
> 
> I have a basic outline, but I'm not sure how long this will be just yet. I will update with a chapter count and change the warnings/ratings as needed. This picks up immediately where [**Midnight in the Resistance Base**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13274220) left off, so if you haven't read that first, go do it!
> 
> Also, you can follow me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/monsterleadmehome) if you so choose. :)

Kylo Ren stared into the empty space of his room where Rey had just been. He cautiously touched his face, imagining he could still feel the warmth of her fingers there. The ache spread throughout his chest, and he bit back the feelings that were threatening to become tears. He was tired of crying, of feeling weak.

 

He hadn’t expected to see his mother. Leia was every bit as beautiful as he remembered her in his best memories. The ones he tried to hide so desperately from Snoke, fearing he would see them as weakness, or worse… try hurting her. He didn’t need to hide his thoughts from anyone anymore. Sometimes it almost felt _wrong_ , like living with a monster’s voice inside his head had become his normal. Now that he was free, he had to admit he was a bit aimless. Who was he without the constant whisper in his ear or the weight of Vader’s legacy on his shoulders? 

 

Not to mention the fact that he wasn’t sleeping. He couldn’t sleep. Even when he drifted off out of pure exhaustion, any slight movement or sound would jolt him awake, expecting to see Hux leering at him over the business end of a blaster. He knew that slimy weasel had it out for him, and always had, but he needed him if he hoped to command the First Order’s army. It would all have been so much easier if Rey had said yes, wouldn’t it? If she had taken his hand. He realized only too late what a mistake it had been. She was too attached to the Resistance, that band of misfits and thieves she saw as her “family.” _Funny, I thought that’s what we would be together_. He raked a hand through his messy hair and plopped back down on his bed. Somehow, being Supreme Leader wasn’t all he thought it would be.

 

* * *

 

 

“Ouch!” Rey looked disapprovingly at her thumb before sticking it into her mouth. Her mind had been wandering again, and she accidentally burned herself. She was deep into the repair of the lightsaber that had broken apart during her last encounter with Ben. Rose, once she was back on her feet and buzzing around fixing what needed mending, was all too happy to help Rey scavenge for spare and found parts. Once she had all the components, she would use the Force to guide the crystal into its new resting place as was the right of passage for most Jedi. For now, she was trying to weld a thin piece of metal into a cylinder, but it was not cooperating. She groaned.

 

She put down her work for the moment and tried to reconcile what General Leia had told her last night. In _love_ with Ben, it wasn’t possible. Or was it? She felt the pang again in her chest, thinking about her vision of the two of them together. She had been so sure he would turn. So sure that she risked life and limb, going deep into the belly of the beast for the boy who wore scars that she herself gave him. Maybe it was more than just a hunch or hope to save the Resistance that sent her aboard the _Supremacy_ in the first place. She could pretend it was just concern or compassion, but deep down she knew there was definitely something _more_.

 

“So how’s it coming?” She jumped at the hand on her shoulder, disrupting her unwanted thoughts. She was so deep in her reverie, she didn’t register his presence.

 

“Hey, Finn.” She smiled at her friend. “Not as much progress as I would’ve hoped, but it’s coming along.”

 

“Well, you let me know when you’ve got it finished. I’d be happy to spar with you.” His grin was a welcome sight. 

 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she tried her best to keep her tone light, but he could tell something was off.

 

“Is everything okay? I feel like you’re somewhere else.” 

 

As usual, she didn’t know where to begin. She didn’t want to lie to Finn, but she couldn’t tell him the whole truth at this point, either. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s good. I’m just tired.” It wasn’t a complete lie. Changing the subject, she asked, “How’s Rose?”

 

“Better every day. She’s actually been bugging me to get you to eat with us. She has probably a million questions about Luke Skywalker.”

 

Rey tried a laugh, but it came out more like a grunt. She had been taking her meals alone since they got to the new base. “Maybe I’ll do that soon.”

 

“Please. It would be nice to have a buffer. Rose is great, but man can she talk.” He winked and took a step back. “I’ll let you get back to it. Poe’s supposed to be back soon and I want to meet the new recruits.”

 

She gave a little wave as he left and turned back to her work. She felt the air change and sensed someone was watching over her shoulder. _He’s here_. 

 

“A saberstaff, I should have known. It suits you.” He leaned in as he took in her progress.

 

She could feel his breath on her ear and realized just how close he was standing. She felt it wise to not turn her head. “I’m nowhere near finished.”

 

“No, but you’ll get there. You excel at everything you do.”

 

She swallowed, trying to not be affected by the compliment. It wasn’t working. She swiveled in her chair to face him and gasped when this brought them nearly nose to nose.

 

He stood up straight, clearing his throat. “Anyway, I’ve been thinking about it, and I wanted to see if we could try controlling this.” He motioned awkwardly between them.

 

“Control it how?” She arched her brow.

 

“I noticed that we connect most often when I’m feeling alone, or if I’m… thinking about you,” he paused, looking a bit embarrassed before continuing. “I think if we focus, we could have more power over when these _moments_ occur.”

 

“Well, obviously I tried to shut you out before, and _that_ didn’t work.” The briefest hint of hurt passed across his face, and she instantly regretted the barb.

 

He recovered quickly. “Much to your chagrin, I’m sure.” Was that a hint of a smile? “No, what I mean is, I want us to try to connect at a specific time… because I have a favor to ask.”

 

“A favor?” What could he possibly want that she would be willing to give?

 

“I want to talk to my mother.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

Rey sat on top of her bed. She and Ben had agreed to try connecting again in six standard hours. It was well into the night cycle on the base, so she was assured some privacy. She closed her eyes and reached out through the Force, trying to read his signature across the galaxy. She wound through threads of energy, unspooling the light and the dark, until… _something_. It was something familiar. 

 

It nudged her back. _Rey?_

 

_I’m here, Ben_.

 

When she opened her eyes, she knew he’d be there. And he was. Sitting in a similar cross-legged position, on her bed. Her cheeks flushed pink, realizing there was a boy on her bed. Not a boy, a _man_. A smile slowly crept across his lips as he discovered her unease with this situation. It was new for him, too, but he enjoyed making her blush.

 

It was the first time she’d seen him smile, a real one that opened his mouth a little and couldn’t be confused for a smirk. She couldn’t help but return it with one of her own.

 

“What?” he said in response.

 

“I just… I’ve never seen you smile before. I like it.” She said it without thinking. Why was it so hard to guard her mouth around him?

 

“Yeah, well don’t get used to it,” he quipped. 

 

“So… it worked. You’re here.”

 

“Why do I always get pulled into your surroundings and not the other way around?” He swiveled his head to look around the room.

 

“Maybe I’m stronger,” she teased.

 

_I don’t doubt that._ He didn’t say it aloud, but he let her hear it all the same. “I can’t explain it, but I could feel you and then I was here. I think, with practice, it will get easier.” He said this tentatively, afraid of her response.

 

_Easier… What if I don’t want you in my head all the time?_

 

_Why? Afraid I’ll see how much you’re thinking of me?_ His eyes bored into hers; it was a challenge, but there was a fair amount of hope behind the question.

 

That was exactly what she was afraid of. Among other things. Instead, she said, “You wish.”

 

_I do._ His eyes were full of regret and what looked like… _longing_.

 

The air was charged with electricity and she wasn’t sure how much longer she could pretend not to feel it. How many close calls have they had already, dancing away from the inevitable? She had her hands upturned on her knees. He reached out slowly, taking her left hand in his right, tracing circles on her palm with his thumb. She let out a shaky breath. Her defenses were crumbling and this would not do. “Okay… so I’ll talk to her in the morning and report back to you.”

 

He let go of her hand. “So official.” 

 

It hurt her seeing him look dejected like that, but she tried to remind herself he made his choice. She was the first to sever the connection, concentrating on shutting him out. As she felt him leave, she also heard, _Goodnight, Rey_.

 

_Goodnight, Ben_.

 

She collapsed back onto the bed with a sigh. Her hand still tingled where had touched her. 

 

* * *

 

Rey was up early. Between laying awake with the memory of his touch and fitful dreams that he featured heavily in, she couldn’t take being in bed any longer. After a run in the defunct hangar that served as their makeshift gym followed by a quick shower, she headed to the mess hall to grab some breakfast. She stacked a plate high with eggs, toast, and some kind of root vegetable that was native to this planet. It had a purple hue, but was starchy and not unpleasant. After eating veg-meat most of her life, she could find just about anything palatable. 

 

She spotted Leia across the room and made a beeline for her. “General, I need to talk to you… in private.” She lowered her voice for the last bit, looking around them surreptitiously.

 

“Of course, Rey. Finish your breakfast and we’ll talk in my office.”

 

Rey ate faster than usual.

 

Leia’s office was spartan but private. She spent most of her time out on the floor with her other officers, anyway. She motioned to Rey to have a seat. “Now what did you want to talk about?”

 

Rey stared at the floor, trying to think of how to best phrase it. “Your son wants to talk to you.” In the end, blurting out the words always seemed to work.

 

The older woman’s face registered some surprise before softening out. Her eyes became glassy as she simply said, “Oh?”

 

“We have been practicing with the bond to gain more control over when it connects us. It was his idea.”

 

“That sounds like Ben. He always was curious, always trying to figure out how things worked.” Her voice sounded almost wistful.

 

“I don’t know what he wants to discuss, but I told him I would ask you and find out a time that worked.” She squirmed a little, expressing her discomfort at the situation. 

 

Leia felt for the young woman in front of her. She could see how this relationship was wearing on her, making her feel like she had to hide part of herself away from the world. “Okay. I have a full day today, but why don’t we do it tonight? No sense in putting it off.”

 

Rey was relieved. “Good. I’ll let him know.”

 

They set a time and Leia watched her leave. It felt strange seeing this person, this outsider, come right into her life and instantly bond with her family. Han had taken a liking to her, Luke begrudgingly trained her, and now she had a feeling that the young Jedi was getting to know her son better than she ever had. She herself was growing quite fond of the girl as well, and now it was time to trust her. If anyone could bring Ben back, she had a gut feeling it would be Rey.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, an update! I was working on a treat for the Reylo Fanfiction Anthology Valentine's Day exchange, so I had taken a break from this work. Anyway, this chapter was emotional to write. Hope you enjoy! Please leave kudos/comments - I definitely respond to all of them. :)

It had been just last night that he had seen her, touched her hand, sat on her bed, but Kylo still paced nervously in front of the viewport. _What’s taking so long?_ Logically he knew it would take some time before he would hear from her, but it did nothing to calm his jitters. It was one thing that any time spent apart from Rey felt like time wasted; it was quite another to think about his mother’s response to his request. He still wasn’t sure what he intended to say to her. He only knew he wanted to talk, not as Supreme Leader and General, but as a son and his mother.

 

He had just turned again when he felt it, felt her. _Rey?_

 

She didn’t appear and his heart sank a little. _It’s me, Ben. She said yes. Twelve standard hours; that work for you?_

 

_Yes_.

 

_Okay. I can’t stay. See you later_.

 

Then she was gone. It was weakness he knew, that every time she left him, he felt the loss so deeply. Compassion, sentiment, _love_ : Snoke would have said these things were foolish, would have berated him for feeling them. In the end, he had been the one with the upper hand. It was he that had killed Snoke for Rey. And even knowing how it all turned out, he would do it again in a heartbeat.

 

* * *

 

 

Rey needed a distraction. She had been so swept up in her own issues, that she felt like she was neglecting the bigger picture. Poe had brought in quite a few new recruits, and they were even rebuilding their fleet. Some of the new ships were in desperate need of repair, and she figured it was long past time for her to pitch in.

 

She found Rose, arm deep into the body of an X-wing. “Hey, anything I can do to help?”

 

Rose perked up at her appearance. “Rey! Of course. Give me just a sec.” She wiped the grease off her hands and scanned the bay for a project.

 

“Great. I just need to do something with my hands for a bit.” Physical labor had always proved a good way for her to not dwell on troublesome thoughts.

 

Noticing the Jedi’s tone, Rose looked up at her. “Something bothering you?” The young mechanic’s face grew pensive. In a slightly scandalous tone, she added, “Is it a _boy_?”

 

Rey felt her cheeks warm and tried to find her zen, before she gave everything away. “What? Why would you think that?”

 

Rose shrugged and she handed Rey some tools. “I just have a sense about these things. You don’t have to tell me who he is.”

 

_I couldn’t even if I wanted to_. Then for some reason, she opened up a little. “Suppose you were right, and there _was_ someone I _maybe_ had feelings for… but it was a really bad idea. And maybe I couldn’t avoid seeing this person, but it would be really difficult for us to have anything resembling a normal relationship. Would you have any advice for that?”

 

Rose quirked an eyebrow. She was definitely intrigued. “Well, first off, I would say normal doesn’t exist. Not in this galaxy.” She smiled, and Rey noted it was an infectious thing. She found the corners of her own mouth turning upward. _I can see why Finn likes you_ , she thought.

 

Rose continued, “Does he have feelings for you as well? I would say, if it’s real, it’s worth fighting for.”

 

Rey nodded slowly, taking this into consideration. Then she immersed herself in work for the new few hours. 

 

After cleaning up and grabbing something to eat, Rey realized it was nearly time to meet up with Leia so they could contact Ben together. It was silly, but she had to pass the refresher on her way, so she made sure to check her appearance in the mirror. She told herself it was just to make sure there were no lingering smudges of grease, but she also redid her hair, tucking the errant strands in place. _The point of this meeting is for Ben and his mom to talk, not anything else_. She sighed at her reflection, and made her way to the General’s office.

 

Awkward could barely begin to describe the way Rey felt. She sat in a chair in the corner of Leia’s office, while the General stood at the other end. Rey knew she’d have to be present the whole time to make sure the connection stayed open, but she also wanted to give them at least some semblance of privacy. She closed her eyes and concentrated, seeking out Ben through the Force. It was becoming easier, she noted as she brushed his consciousness. He felt so familiar to her now. _We’re ready for you_.

 

When she opened her eyes, she wanted to close them again. It seemed so intrusive for her to be present for this private moment, but she knew if she left, they wouldn’t have this chance to talk. Ben was looking at her first, a myriad of emotions swirling behind his eyes. He didn’t say it for Leia to hear, but he told her, _Thank you_.

 

_You’re welcome. Pretend I’m not here_. She hugged her knees to her chest, trying to shrink into the background.

 

He grinned just a bit. _I’ll try_.

 

It was Leia who broke the silence and forced him to face her. “Ben?”

 

He didn’t wince or correct her. It was becoming more natural to be referred to by his old name, his real name. “Mother. You’re looking well.” 

 

Leia grunted. “Don’t lie to me, son.” She smiled then, and it broke something in him.

 

He was biting back his feelings, something Rey noticed he did when he was feeling particularly vulnerable. “When my fighters fired on your ship, I thought- I thought you were dead. It wasn’t until much later I discovered you had survived. I just didn’t want you to think it was I who fired on you.” His gloved hands were making fists at his sides now, clenching and unclenching.

 

Consistently stoic Leia faltered a little at this. She looked as if she were on the verge of tears as well. “I knew it wasn’t you. You’re still my boy.”

 

Ben was full on crying now. “I killed him, Mom. I’m so sorry,” he admitted, finally, through the tears. 

 

She could see that he meant it, that he was broken in so many ways, and she felt responsible for playing a part in that. “I know you are. I’m sorry, too. I should never have sent you away. I thought it was for the best at the time, but I never wanted you to think I gave up on you- that I didn’t love you enough.” Leia was also crying now. She reached out to take her son’s hand, but found she passed right through like a hologram.

 

A look of surprise crossed Ben’s face as he realized his mother could see him but not touch him. Rey rose from her chair in the corner and quietly threaded her fingers through his, squeezing them ever so slightly. He looked down at her and she offered him a sad smile. Her encouraging touch gave him the strength he needed to continue. “I killed Snoke.”

 

Leia looked at their hands. It seemed unfair that Rey could touch him when she could not. “I know. Rey told me. And I’m proud of you. You did what neither Luke nor I had the foresight to do before.”

 

“I don’t know what I’m doing. I feel like everyone here wants me dead. General Hux and his men have no love for me, and if they’ve found out what I’ve done…”

 

“You could come home. I can’t promise anyone here will welcome you, but you’re my _son_. They can’t touch you as long as I’m around.” 

 

“I don’t know. I don’t think that would be wise.” 

 

“Promise me you’ll at least think about it.” 

 

“Okay.”

 

“I love you, Ben.”

 

“I- I love you, too… Mom.” It was so quiet, it was almost a whisper. But the words were said, and Leia heard them, a fresh tear falling down her cheek. She wiped it away as she watched her son disappear from view.

 

Rey had been standing there the whole time, never letting go of his hand. When he abruptly closed the connection, she couldn’t help but note how empty her hand felt. She took a heavy breath and when she looked at the General, she found her studying her with an odd look. 

 

“I’d like to be alone now,” Leia said.

 

Rey nodded and left as quickly as she could. 

 

* * *

 

He hadn’t planned to say all that. He didn’t know what he was going to say, but he had _not_ expected what came out. He wanted to throw a typical Kylo tantrum, slash through some control panels, but oddly enough his anger abated quickly. Then he realized that this feeling that remained was something akin to catharsis. He pulled his gloves off and raked a hand through his hair as he stepped into the ‘fresher.

 

He had been in agony every since he watched his father fall off that bridge, and though his mother hadn’t said she’d forgiven him, she did say she knew he was sorry. It was _something_. And she had told him she loved him. He would have known if she were lying. She wasn’t. Suddenly all of the manipulations Snoke had put him through over the years became so clear. His family _did_ love him.

 

Han proved that by coming back for him. Luke proved it by projecting himself to Crait, even though it meant his inevitable death. And Leia had just told him she still loved him to his face. Then there was Rey. He knew she’d be an important part of his life from the first time he saw her on Takodana. Maybe he didn’t know in what way back then, but now he knew deep down. She was his destiny. For the first time in a long time, the Light beckoned at the cracks in Kylo Ren’s heart, and he didn’t fight it. He finished stripping down and started the shower. As the water ran over his body, he felt like more than just the dirt of the day was being washed away.

 

A towel wrapped around his waist, he sauntered around his quarters, datapad in hand. He liked to survey the news and meeting notes from the day before settling in for the night. Without warning, he felt her show up. She had come unannounced, and he was half-naked. He turned slowly, a sly grin on his face. “You did this on purpose.”

 

Rey blushed furiously, trying really hard to bring her eyes up to his and not linger on his torso. “I did no such thing.”

 

“Then why are you here?” He was enjoying this, taking the few small steps to cover the distance between them. 

 

“I- I don’t know. I didn’t plan it. I was just… thinking about you and then I was here. Oh stars, are you _laughing_?” She tried her best to sound indignant, but she’d be lying if she were to say she didn’t appreciate the view. This was the most exposed she’d ever seen him. She let her eyes briefly roam the hard plains of his abs and the diagonal lines below that trailed off beneath where the towel covered him.

 

Noticing her allowing herself to look filled him with a rush of heat. “This is the second time you’ve caught me without a shirt on. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this was becoming a habit.”

 

It didn’t seem possible, but she turned even redder. “Please. Here I was worried about you, and you’re making fun of me.”

 

This took him by surprise. “You were worried about me?”

 

“I know it must have been… hard for you. Seeing your mother and saying all those things. So yeah, I was concerned. I… care about you, Ben.”

 

Maybe it was the late hour, or the fact that he was feeling a lot lighter than he had in ages, but the barriers that kept them apart seemed smaller for once. He reached out and tilted her chin up so he could look right into her eyes. “You do?”

 

She swallowed hard, but didn’t turn away. “I do.”

 

It was a bad idea. He knew it was, but he didn’t care. His gaze drifted down to her lips and he leaned in, slowly, giving her every chance to back out. She closed her eyes in anticipation, and his stomach turned somersaults at the gesture. Just as he was about to press his mouth to hers, she reacted to something out of his view. She turned her head and was gone. _Shit_.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I have had a lot going on recently, including the passing of a loved one, so I haven't been working on my fics as much as I'd like.
> 
> We have a projected chapter count now (which I may increase if need be) and there's a visit from a special Force ghost in this chapter! And a tipsy Rey, which was fun to write.
> 
> I gave myself the feels writing this chapter, so I hope you get them too! Please leave comments/kudos if you enjoyed it. :)

The knocking that had brought Rey out of her connection with Ben resumed. She let out a frustrated groan as she opened the door to her room. _This had better be good_ , she thought. “What?!” she barked.

“Whoa, calm down. Am I… interrupting something?” Finn’s eyes darted around the room to see if there was anyone else inside.

“No, why would you be? Don’t be ridiculous.” Her voice was calmer now and she moved to the side to let him in.

“Well, you just sounded kind of _irritated_.”

“Sorry, I was just trying to meditate.” 

_Oh is that what you call it?_ It was like he chased her back through the bond. She could feel his frustration and something else she was loathe to put a name to, especially with Finn in the room.

_Go away, Ben. I’m busy._

_With the traitor?_

Finn had said something, but she missed it. “I’m sorry, what?” Then she answered Ben, _Not. Now._

“It’s better if I show you. You got a few minutes?”

_We weren’t finished._ She only heard his voice in her head, but his tone sent a shiver down her spine.

“Of course. I’ve got plenty of time.” She waved as if shooing away an invisible fly and followed Finn out of the room. She registered a spike of anger followed by disappointment before she felt Ben disappear altogether. Her heart gave a little lurch. _I’m sorry_ , she thought to only herself.

The whole gang was gathered in the hangar, gawking at the new arrivals. There were a myriad of shiny new X- and A-wing fighters, and she could see a few larger ships outside. There were also a lot of new recruits, both human and non-human roaming around. Rey spotted Poe in deep conversation with a female Twi’lek, her orange lekku flowing out of a pilot’s helmet. A tiny figure with large goggles came up to her. “Maz!”

Maz Kanata walked right up to Rey. “Come down here, so I can hug you properly.” Rey obeyed and after they embraced, Maz held her by the shoulders to look in her eyes. “I see you’ve found what you’ve been looking for, but you’ve parted ways. Don’t worry my dear, your story isn’t finished.”

Rey stood back up to her full height and looked around flabbergasted. She couldn’t hide anything from Maz. The small humanoid was now hugging Rose. Finn gave Rey a look and said, “What was that about?” She shrugged as if she didn’t know, trying to ignore the heat rising to her cheeks.

They wandered over to where Rose and Maz were still chatting. The former looked at the ships and people with awe. “Where did all this come from?” 

“Let’s just say, someone owed me a _very_ big favor.” Maz rubbed the red plom bloom pin on her lapel. Rose looked at Finn with wide eyes.

“So are you here to join our cause or just drop off the gifts?” Finn asked. 

“You should know by now, young man, that Maz Kanata doesn’t back down from a fight.” She winked at him. “Now, where is the wookie? I have a few words for him…” She waltzed off in search of Chewie.

 

* * *

 

Kylo paced around his room onboard the _Finalizer_. He had been _this close_ to kissing Rey when that traitor FN-2187 interrupted them. He should’ve killed him back on Jakku, when he realized that he hadn’t been able to fire on the villagers. But no, that one act of compassion had set in motion the events that led him to meeting Rey in the first place. He hated to think that he could actually be indebted to this “Finn,” as he was now called.

He found where he had stashed his grandfather’s old helmet. He held it in his hands and sat down. Half melted and deformed, he wondered why he kept the old thing anymore. Once he thought it helped him channel the Dark side, figure out Vader’s true motives. These were the lies of a boy trying to live in a legend’s shadow. Darth Vader had never spoken to him. The young copper haired man he sometimes saw in dreams offered no wisdom either, only a smirk and a strong hatred of sand.

“You should destroy that thing like you destroyed your mask. I always hated wearing it.” It was the man he sometimes dreamt about, his outline fuzzy but his presence strong in the Force.

“Grandfather?” It was hard to believe that Anakin Skywalker would choose to reveal himself now, after all these years of searching. Kylo noticed he had a similar scar over his eye, but his was much smaller.

Sensing his grandson’s timidity, Anakin spoke, “Haven’t you figured it out by now? I couldn’t visit you before because of Snoke. He kept you well-hidden.”

Anger surged anew through Kylo. He spent so many years in service of a creature who only lived to torment him. His father had been right; Snoke only used him for his power. He only had one thing to say, “Why now?”

“Because you need me, _Anakin Skywalker,_ not Darth Vader. That’s the legacy I wish I could’ve left for you.” He paused, looking wistful. “Don’t make the same mistakes I did, Ben.”

Hearing his real name from his grandfather’s Force ghost was almost too much to bear. The tears started to well up. “What do you mean?”

“I thought I would have done anything to save Padmé. In the end, it was my possessiveness and desire for power that killed her. I never even got to see my children grow up. I tortured _my own daughter_ , your mother. I’m not surprised she chose not to tell you about me.”

He scoffed at this. At the time, it felt like the greatest betrayal, not knowing that his grandfather was one of the most powerful Sith lords to rule the galaxy. He hadn’t thought about how painful this information was for his mother, only that she had lied to him.

Anakin continued, “I had a beautiful family and the chance for a good life. I screwed it all up and razed half the galaxy in the process. Do you _really_ want to be like me?”

“I thought I did, once.”

“That’s what Snoke wanted you to think.” He paused and ran a hand through his russet locks. They really were alike. “You love her, don’t you? This Rey?”

Kylo hung his head. “More than anything.”

“Then show her, _tell_ her. If you truly love her that much, then giving up your place of power here should be an easy decision.”

“If I leave, Hux will run the galaxy into the ground.”

“Not if you fight him. C’mon, you don’t belong here. Listen, I know the anguish and conflict you feel inside, better than anyone. I know what it’s like to be responsible for the death of someone you love.”

Kylo felt the tears start to drip down his cheek.

“Your father knew the risks he took in coming to you and he did it anyway. I was never a big fan of his, but if you don’t accept the sacrifice he made to bring you back, then his death was in vain. He loved you.”

It was true. He knew now that Han Solo did love him, even if he wasn’t a great parent. “I know.”

“Don’t be an idiot… trust me, it runs in the family.” Anakin reached out and laid a hand on his grandson’s shoulder.

“I asked Rey to rule by my side,” he said with a sheepish grin.

Anakin laughed. “That didn’t work on Padmé, either. Look, the Jedi got a lot wrong, but so did the Sith. Dark versus Light, maybe it doesn’t always have to be that way. Maybe you can be something new, _different_. Just listen when I tell you that power is worthless if you don’t have love.”

When Kylo raised his head to look at his grandfather, he was already gone.

 

* * *

 

Deep in another part of the ship, the glow from the holoscreen turned General Hux’s normally pale face a sickly shade of blue. The words **ERROR: File Not Found** kept turning up regardless of what he keyed in. His lips hardened into a line, anger simmering beneath the surface. Someone had tampered with the security footage from the throne room. He couldn’t find anything from the day the former Supreme Leader died. There was nothing from the turbolift, either. Ren had gone through great lengths to cover his tracks. The only thing Hux was able to find, was a holovid feed of Ren leading the scavenger girl through the corridor. His face was devoid of emotion and they were accompanied by two stormtroopers. The girl was even in restraints. This was hardly evidence worth noting. Still Hux kept searching for _something_. Eventually, he’d have his chance. As embarrassing as the show on Crait had been, he just knew that the current Supreme Leader was bound to trip up sooner or later.

A sly grin crept across his face as he made his way to the room that housed his secret project. He held his palm over the reader and the doors whooshed open for him. A female technician walked around the large cage, testing the bars with a tool that made a sharp buzzing sound when it made contact. A manic glee crept onto Hux’s face as he watched the display. “Is it fully operational?”

“Yes, General. It all seems to be in working order. I hope it was worth all the credits you paid,” the woman replied.

“Ah, it will be.”

* * *

 

Leia was touched. She had started to lose hope that things would ever come together, but little by little the Resistance was rebuilding. This latest batch of reinforcements led by Maz Kanata actually gave them a fighting chance. Holdo’s sacrifice had weakened the First Order fleet, but they still controlled a large part of the galaxy. She knew they needed to expand their reach if they hoped to win. Still, morale was a tricky thing, and she had given the green light on a celebration of sorts to welcome the newcomers.

It wasn’t much, some food, spirits, and a little music. It sure did put the base in a good mood, though. She thought about her son again. Ben was different, he _felt_ different. She could tell that much through the Force. It was as if he was starting to come around, and she knew Rey was a large part of that. And the way he _looked_ at her… She smiled and chuckled a little at the thought that she might actually get grandchildren someday. Her gaze wandered to the young woman in question, who was sitting atop a table, deep in conversation with Finn and Rose.

Rey was laughing, and boy did it feel _good_ to laugh. It had been awhile. They were enjoying the booze and food that had come with the new recruits. Rose had just recounted something funny that Finn had done earlier in the day, and she had missed this - just spending time with friends. Her world had become so serious lately, and it was nice to be carefree for a change, even if it was only for a night. The bittersweet amber liquid she’d been drinking did dampen her mental shields, though, as she felt a familiar presence come tugging on the edges of her conscience.

_You’re drunk_ , he said.

_I am not. Maybe a little buzzed_.

_I can feel it; my head is swimming._ The thought of Ben being able to feel her buzz was somehow hilarious, and she started giggling again. _Your laugh is lovely._

Rey nearly fell off the table at that remark. Finn whipped out an arm instinctively. “Whoa there, girl. Maybe that’s enough for you.”

_I don’t like it when he touches you._

“You might be right,” she answered her friend. _Relax, Ben. He’s got a girlfriend… or a_ something _. I don’t know what they are, but you have nothing to worry about._ Damn this drink; she hadn’t thought about what she was saying. She could feel his joy ripple through the bond.

_Does that mean you’re…_

Before he could finish, she cut him off. _That’s not what I meant. I-_

_Too late. You said it. I have nothing to worry about because you’re_ mine _._ She tried to ignore the rush of pleasure his words gave her, knowing full well he might feel it anyway.

_I don’t belong to anyone._

_No, but you belong_ with _me._ She had to hand it to him, that was smooth. Almost like he had been taking pointers from someone, but who would be giving Ben Solo dating advice? She didn’t know what to say back, and perhaps he sensed this. He left her with the weight of his words still impressing on her heart.

She hopped off the table and said to her friends, “I’m gonna call it a night.” She then meandered the halls back to her room, and if she had to use the Force a little to keep her from stumbling, she didn’t think anyone would notice.

_You belong with me_. His words echoed in her head as she lay down to sleep. All Rey wanted her whole life was to belong somewhere. She spent countless nights fantasizing about her family coming back to claim her. She hadn’t given the idea of other types of love much thought, as focused as she’d been on her parents. Yet, the way Ben looked at her, it sent thrills through her body and filled her with a longing more desperate than she knew she could feel. If Finn hadn’t walked in, Ben would have kissed her. She would have let him. If touching his hand was electric, what would kissing him be like? She couldn’t lie to herself anymore - she wanted to know, but she was also terrified. Terrified of losing herself completely to what she was certain would be an all-consuming passion. Her buzz was starting to wear off, but now she had become sleepy. She drifted off to thoughts of Ben’s strong hands caressing her face, her hair, her body.

The first thing Rey noticed when she awoke was the faint feeling of breath on the back of her neck. The next thing she took in was the large forearm draped over her waist. She felt herself redden as she remembered the dreams she had been having of the man who was now holding her flush against his body. It was not unpleasant. For a moment she allowed herself to imagine that this was normal, that they shared a bed every night, and this was what it felt like to wake up in his arms every morning. Her chest began to ache. “Ben,” she whispered.

He was either still asleep or pretending, but he gently nuzzled her neck with his nose and held her a little tighter. Rey squeezed her eyes shut, a single tear escaping in the process. Why did this feel so right? She sighed and tried again, “Ben, you awake?” She put her arm over his where it lay on her waist and began to rub the back of his hand with her thumb.

“Mmm,” he mumbled into her shoulder, lighting up every last nerve in her body.

She lifted his arm up and slowly turned over so she could face him. He shifted, letting her settle into a comfortable position, but didn’t remove his arm completely from her body, letting his hand stay on her side. “Who opened the bond, you or me?” she asked him.

He blinked a few times, either to fully awaken or to make sure he wasn’t dreaming her there. “I’m not sure. I was having trouble sleeping, falling in and out, then one of the times I woke up, you were next to me. I wasn’t sure if it was real, so I pulled you close.” He gave her a sleepy smile. “That was the best rest I’ve had in a really long time.”

“Me too,” she said smiling back. _I wish it could always be like this_.

_Maybe it can_. He reached over to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. He started to lean in and she felt her heart racing, anticipating what was to come. He surprised her by lifting his head and pressing a gentle kiss to her temple. “Be patient with me. I promise I’m trying,” he whispered into her hairline. Then he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our boy is starting to figure shit out. *swells with pride* 
> 
> Also I just love the thought of Anakin talking some sense into his idiot grandson. I know we probably won't get that in IX, so I included it here!
> 
> I appreciate everyone who has read this fic so much! I know there is a lot of post-TLJ content out there, and the fact that you've decided to read my interpretation is truly an honor. Come say hi on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/monsterleadmehome) if you feel so inclined.


	4. Chapter 4

Rey almost cried out as Ben disappeared. She reached across the bed to gingerly touch the space he had just occupied. The future she had seen of the two of them together and happy seemed more real now than ever before. She promised herself as she rolled out of bed that she would not stop fighting for it. She quickly grabbed something to eat then desperately looked for something to do to take her mind off things. Rose had helped her find the final pieces for her new lightsaber, so she figured it was time.

Finn was inspecting various weapons that had arrived with Maz’s reinforcements. As Rey walked into what she supposed was now their armory/training area, she noticed him pick up a vibroblade, not unlike the ones that the Praetorian guards had when she fought them with Ben. Her newly completed saberstaff in hand, she asked him, “You still up for a bit of sparring with me?”

“You finished it?” He smiled.

In answer to the question, Rey thumbed the activation button and two light blue blades appeared. She had sworn the color was deeper before, but these blades were so light in color they almost appeared white.

“Impressive.” He held the vibroblade aloft and took a defensive stance.

Rey held her saberstaff in front of her and twirled it a few times for emphasis. “I’m not going to take it easy on you just because you’re my best friend.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to. Bring it.” He jumped around a bit, egging her on.

Rey brought down one of her blades against Finn’s weapon. The sparks lit her hazel eyes, and she felt adrenaline surge through her. She took a step back and brought the opposite end around, aiming for his open right side. He moved to block, the plasma filament along the edge unyielding to her lightsaber. They moved in a circle as Rey would advance and Finn would parry. It was cathartic, and she was more than pleased with his combat skills.

Finding herself sweaty, sore, and in need of water, Rey called a truce. “You really know how to handle that thing,” she said as she wiped her brow on her arm wrap.

“I’ve always been pretty good with melee weapons.” 

“Yeah?” She tried to imagine him in full stormtrooper regalia flinging around instruments of war. It made her shudder, and she was so glad he had decided to help Poe instead of carrying on with his First Order duties. 

He nodded and replaced the blade to the shelf where he found it then sat down on a nearby bench. Rey followed suit. “What’s been going on with you lately? I feel like I’ve barely seen you.”

“Well, you have been spending a lot of time with Rose…” she teased him.

He elbowed her. “That’s not it. You’ve been isolating yourself. I only ever see you talking to General Organa. What happened?”

Rey knew she’d have to tell him sooner or later, but she couldn’t stomach revealing the bond now. She settled for a half-truth. “Before I showed up on Crait in the _Falcon_ , I went to the _Supremacy,_ ” she finally admitted.

“What? Why?” He sounded truly shocked. He had no idea… they could have been on the ship at the same time.

“I can’t explain everything to you right now, Finn. But you should know that I saw Kylo Ren again, and this time he killed Snoke to save my life.”

A look of bewilderment passed over his face. “W-why would he do that?”

“You won’t want to believe me, but I know there’s still good in him.” Her eyes pleaded with him to understand.

Finn looked angry and a little hurt. “You’re right, I _don’t_ believe you.” He thought for a second then asked, “If he really did it to help you, why didn’t he come back with you?”

“That’s a good question.” She offered him a sad smile that pierced his heart. He knew there was more to the story than what she had just told him, but he wouldn’t press her now. Rey was his best friend, and she’d come around eventually.

 

* * *

 

Kylo hated these meetings. His grandfather had been right, he didn’t belong with the First Order. He especially didn’t belong in this meeting listen to Hux drone on about some new mining project in the Unknown Regions. He really didn’t care how promising it was or how many troops they had stationed there, though he did note it was a lot. And that they were keeping the larger presence a secret for some reason? He shrugged to his inner monologue, earning himself a glare from his top general.

Listening to the infuriating ginger drone on about the core of the planet Ollee was making him want to fall asleep. He absentmindedly started thinking about Rey, the way her hip had felt underneath his hand, how nice it had been to have her body pressed against his. 

_You summoned me?_

_Rey. I didn’t mean to, sorry. Guess I’d rather think about you than listen to Hux._

_That’s understandable. I’m surprised you haven’t killed him yet._ She was teasing him, but just having her presence in his mind made his current situation infinitely more bearable.

_I can’t kill him, unfortunately. I need him._

_You wouldn’t if you came here. If you were with me… where you belong._

His heart skipped a beat at her implication. _All in good time, darling._

He felt her blush through the bond and then she was gone. He meant it, though. He knew that now. The only way forward was with Rey. He couldn’t very well just show up on the Resistance’s doorstep and expect a happy welcome, no matter what his mother or Rey said. Nor did he want to leave the fate of the First Order and possibly the whole galaxy in Hux’s slimy hands. He had a plan forming. What he needed was intel. Something valuable he could use to bargain with the Resistance for his freedom in addition to handing them Hux on a silver platter. Maybe it was time to start paying attention in these meetings.

 

* * *

 

Rey was flustered. He had never called her that before. _Darling_. She let the word roll around in her mind and decided she quite liked the sound of it. Of course a lot of things had happened in the past few days that hadn’t happened before. She thought about the weight of him in bed beside her, and his breath on her neck, and how she had _really_ wanted him to kiss her. _Get a kriffing grip!_ She admonished herself. She made her way to one of the front conference rooms where a briefing with the General was supposed to be happening. 

There were a lot of them packed into the room. Leia stood at the head of the table, with Poe close beside her. Rey joined Finn and Rose towards the back and scanned the rest of the crowd. Maz and Chewie were there, as were some other faces she had not seen in some time: Snap Wexley, Jessika Pava, and a few others. She noted the Twi’lek pilot was also in attendance.

Leia spoke first. “Thank you all for gathering. It hasn’t been an easy process, and we are by no means ready to take on the First Order directly, but the Resistance has been growing stronger by the day. It is because of our allies and the hope spreading across the galaxy that we persist. Now, Commander Dameron has the floor.”

Poe stepped up and addressed the room. “We have received word that the First Order has a new mining facility on the planet Ollee in the Unknown Regions.” The new holoscreen on the wall showed a rocky system on the far edge of the galaxy. “It’s rich in expensive metals and not very well guarded yet. If we act fast, I think we can take a team there, destroy the mine and cripple their operation for at least a little bit. It’s low on manpower, low on risk, but high reward.”

Heads seemed to be nodding around the room, in agreement with this mission. The General added, “Poe has my full support to lead this mission. We just need to gather the team together. So who’d like to volunteer?”

Several people stepped forward including Pava, Wexley, and the Twi’lek pilot. Poe smiled and headed over to better organize his strike team. Rey watched them get excited to be seeing some action and head out of the room. 

Rey wasn’t sure what do with herself. The longer she stayed on the base, the more restless she felt. She wouldn’t join the strike team; she knew that much. As the only known Force-user in the Resistance, she was much too valuable to be sent on such a small mission. There were still a couple hours left to kill before dinner, and then they would see the team off. She idly wandered the halls of the base until she came to the spare room in the back that they didn’t use. The one Leia had first caught her talking to Ben in. She had just walked in when she felt the skin on the back of her neck prickle. “I was just thinking about you,” she turned around smiling.

Ben was not scowling, which was a good sign. She was starting to get used to his softer side, which seemed to only come out around her. He had warned her not to, but she could really get used to the sight of him smiling, and how it gave her butterflies on the inside. “I know,” was his simple reply.

She wasn’t sure what made her ask, but she did anyway. “Do you know anything about the planet Ollee?”

He shrugged, but then a light seemed to go off inside him. “Why? Is the _hotshot pilot_ planning a mission?”

Rey knew this could be dangerous, but she also needed to know where Ben’s allegiance really was. If it was where she suspected it might be, where she wanted it to be. “If he were…”

Ben looked up quickly. “It’s a trap. Hux sent a few more battalions there a couple days ago, but didn’t want it broadcast across our channels. He’s trying to fortify the mine, but he also wants to draw the Resistance out.” Ben was surprised he had remembered that much, considering he hadn’t been listening intently. “If you send your people in, they’ll likely die.”

She took in the information, weighing it carefully. Her eyes scrutinized his face. He peered back at her in a way that made her think of the rain on Ahch-To.

“You still don’t trust me, even after everything.” His voice cut to her core, and she tried to shake the feeling.

“I’m trying, Ben. It’s not like you’ve proved yourself to be particularly trustworthy in the past.”

“I’ve never lied to you, Rey. Not once. I know I’ve done a lot of things, but I _never_ lied to you.”

She could feel his frustration boiling through the bond. The Kylo side of him was bubbling to the surface again, and she needed to tread carefully. “I believe you.”

“Do you? I don’t know, Rey.” He was pacing back and forth now. “Sometimes, I don’t know what more I could possibly give to you. I offered you the entire galaxy and you just left!” His voice had risen to a frightening level.

“I never wanted the galaxy - I just wanted _you_!” She screamed back at him, tears forming in her eyes.

He looked shell-shocked for a moment, wide eyes trained on her face. His voice was almost a whisper when he asked, “What?”

“You heard me.” She stared him down, breath ragged, daring him to make the next move.

Ben looked down at his hands and slowly removed both of his gloves, tossing them aside somewhere Rey could not see. She looked confused at first but then realized what he was doing as they both crossed the room and crashed into each other. He fit his mouth firmly over hers and kissed her with the all the pent up passion he’d been holding in since that day in the throne room, his hands cupping both of her cheeks gently like she was a porcelain doll that might break. Her skin was impossibly soft.

She wound her hands up into his dark hair, returning the kiss in earnest. It was her first one, and she wasn’t sure if she was doing it right, but stars did it _feel_ good. A lone tear dripped down her cheek, and Ben would think about the salty taste long after. It seemed like an eternity, but was in truth only mere moments when they broke apart. Both wore tentative smiles as he rested his forehead against hers. 

“I’m sorry I made you cry… again,” he murmured as he wiped at the wetness under her eyes. 

She closed them, relishing the feel of his bare hands on her face. “It’s okay. Maybe try not to do it anymore?”

He shifted his hands from her face to her back and pulled her close, her head coming to rest on his chest. “I don’t think that’s a promise I could keep.”

 

* * *

 

Rey hoped it wasn’t too late. She practically ran through the base until she got to the hangar, where the pilots were suiting up and getting ready for takeoff. She found Poe, BB-8 beeping excitedly next to him. “It’s a trap!” she practically yelled at him.

“What?” he eyed her, and put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down.

“An ambush. I know the information you got said there was minimal First Order presence, but it isn’t true. There’s been reinforcements and you’ll be outnumbered.”

He gave her an incredulous look. “Okay… and how do you know this?”

Rey bit her lip. “I-I’ve had a vision. It’s going to go horribly wrong. Please don’t go; don’t take your team to Ollee.” She knew it was tricky trying to pin her warning on the basis of a Force-induced vision, but she couldn’t just tell them the actual source of her intel.

“Look, Rey. I don’t doubt your powers. I mean, I saw what you did on Crait. But we’ve gotten this message from a reliable source so I think it’ll be fine.”

She pinched the bridge of her nose to think. She knew this might happen so Ben gave her something else to use. “Okay, I get it. You don’t believe me. Does BB-8 have a map of the planet?”

Without being told the droid rolled over and projected a holo map of the world to which they were headed. 

Rey pointed at the mountainous area. “You’re planning on coming in from this area, correct?”

“Yeah,” Poe nodded as he answered.

“Don’t. They’ll be expecting that. You’ll have TIEs on you in no time. Come in through here,” she pointed at another area on the map. “There’s a secondary shaft that leads to the main mine, and it’s not as heavily guarded. Drop your bombs down there and it will do almost the same amount of damage, but you should be able to get out mostly intact.”

Poe listened and nodded as Rey suggested this alternate route. It sure sounded like she knew what she was talking about. “Alright. We’ll run it like you’ve said. If we’re successful, I guess I’ll have our resident Jedi to thank.” He clapped her back and ran off to tell the team the new plan.

Now Rey would just have to wait, but that was something she was good at.

 

* * *

 

In a seedy cantina on a backwater planet, a woman sat nursing her drink. She wore a cowl to cover most of her face, but if you got close to her in the light, you could see the scars marring her bronze skin. It had been several long years of waiting, but she finally found her opportunity for revenge. She moved like a shadow, planting little seeds of discord throughout the galaxy, and one of her seedlings had pulled some very valuable footage for her. In a former life, she had been called a Knight. The last Knight of Ren to walk among the living. That was her master’s fault, too.

Compassion was a weakness. Wasn’t that what they had learned from Snoke? So when he ordered Kylo Ren to eliminate all his knights, to be the lone warrior left standing, it wasn’t a surprise. What was a surprise was the fact that he had spared Vendara Ren. She fought back, as they all had done; but when the time came he left her behind - bruised, bloody, but _very much alive_. One might think that she should be grateful to the person who spared her life, but not Vendara. She had known him before as Ben Solo, when they were at Luke Skywalker’s academy together. She had seen the Darkness calling to him the way it called to her, too. She had helped him cut down the students who were too stubborn to join them, choosing to fight for their legendary master instead.

How many nights had she wondered what might have happened if she had killed him instead? If she had been the one to return victorious to Snoke? Would she have become a leader in the First Order, an durasteel fist to the galaxy? But these were frivolous thoughts. She made her living now as a bounty hunter, keeping to the shadows and only using the Force when absolutely necessary. Her strength had never been in lifting rocks or mind tricks, anyway. Vendara’s powers mostly manifested in visions of the future. Which was how she knew to tell her spy to pull the security imager feed before it was wiped. Snoke was dead. Killed by his prized apprentice. The irony was almost too sweet.

She looked at her chronometer as she knocked back the rest of her drink. Her present to that sniveling General Hux should be arriving very shortly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made up the planet Ollee (and named it after my dog, Ollie). It's the [Unknown Regions](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Unknown_Regions) so I call artistic license, OK?
> 
> I wanted to include more KoR, but I decided it was less messy if they were all but gone. Because where the hell have they been the last two movies if they're all still alive, right?
> 
> Two more chapters to go! I hope you are enjoying it, and if so, please leave comments- I eat them up like Girl Scout cookies!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, this chapter is a tad angsty. I'm so sorry.

He had kissed her… finally. After wondering what it would feel like for what seemed like forever, Kylo finally knew what Rey’s lips on his felt like. And now that he knew, he couldn’t wait to do it again and again. He was sitting at his desk, trying to go through notes from Hux, but he couldn’t focus his eyes on the datapad. All he could think about was Rey. He felt like a damned teenager, but no - he had never felt this good as a teen. Actually, he had never felt this good, period. There were no sinister voices inside his mind, and he had gotten to kiss the woman he loves for the first time. It was a banner day for Ben Solo. He hadn’t thought of himself in those terms for a very long time, but he let Rey call him Ben, even liked the way it sounded coming out of her mouth - that beautiful mouth with her perfect pink lips...

“Hey, kid.” The familiar voice jarred him out of his reverie. Leave it to a Skywalker to ruin his good mood. He would maybe be afraid if he didn’t already know.

He turned slowly in his chair. “Uncle Luke. You’re looking… ethereal.” He smirked slightly. After all, the dead couldn’t hurt you.

“Good one. I told you I’d be seeing you.” He did say that, right before he vanished and made Kylo look like a fool in front of the whole First Order.

“What do you want? Are you here to taunt me?”

“No, Ben. I’m here to help you.”

“Maybe I don’t want your help! You’re the reason I’m so broken in the first place.” His voice held no rage, only resignation.

Luke looked downcast. “I know. There’s so much I wish I would’ve done differently. And I know you won’t accept my apology, but let me at least show you something.” He moved forward, reaching his hand out.

He still didn’t trust the man who betrayed him, but what did he have left to lose? He leaned forward and let the ghost of his uncle touch his forehead. That’s when he saw it all from Luke’s perspective. Felt his terror, his anguish, his intense remorse. That he had even _thought_ to light his saber in his nephew’s room. It was the most reprehensible thing he’d ever done and he spent every day of the rest of his life regretting his spur of the moment decision. He considered his hubris, more than Snoke’s influence, as the real reason for Ben’s fall to the Dark side. It was too much, Luke let him feel the self-loathing and the contrition for not tracking Snoke down and ending it himself. Ben opened his eyes and the tears started to fall. “Why? Why show me now?”

“Because it isn’t too late. You can still come back from this. I took your choice from you, Ben. I want you to be able to choose the kind of man you’re going to be.”

He nodded. “I’ve made my choice. I just need a little time to gather some information before I can go to the Resistance.”

Luke was taken aback. “You… what? Just like that?”

“It’s not because of _you_ , trust me.”

Oh. _Oh_. He understood now. It made more sense. He cracked a cheeky grin. “So you and Rey, huh?” He stroked his beard while he thought about it, remembering the two of them gazing into each other's eyes, barely touching fingertips over a crackling fire. “You know she nearly killed me defending your honor, when she found out what I did.”

Ben’s heart swelled. “She did?” He felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Pulled a lightsaber on me and everything. She’s special, that one.”

“I know.”

“You’re more like your dad than you know.”

“Please don’t-”

Luke cut him off. “Well, it’s _true_. I know you wish you could take it back. I know that it eats you up inside; guilt will do that to a person. It will make you hide yourself away from a galaxy that desperately needs you. Don’t make the same mistake I did, Ben. You could still do so much good.”

He let out a humorless laugh. “You’re the second Skywalker this week to tell me that.”

“You- you saw my father?” Luke sounded in awe.

“Yeah, all blue and glowy like you. In much better shape, though.”

“There’s that Solo wit.” 

Ben rolled his eyes at his uncle and then he was gone. Strangely, he was fine with having seen him. The space inside him that used to be consumed with rage for Luke Skywalker was no longer there. His love for Rey took up too much room.

 

* * *

 

_Supreme Leader Hux_. He mulled the title over in his mind. Shouldn’t be long now. Ren was bound to do something stupid very soon. He had been decidedly distant recently, and Hux just knew something was up. It was hard to one up a man so strong in the Force, but fortunately one thing Kylo was not strong in was common sense. 

He left the bridge of the _Finalizer_ , making his way to his own quarters. His special project was complete and ready to be used against that usurper as soon as the opportunity arose. Everything was falling together nicely, Hux just needed the last piece of the puzzle to put his plan into action. Six years; that’s how long he and Ren had been in competition, always at each other’s throats, their conflict stoked by Snoke’s cruel words. Hux knew how to work the system, always trying to stay on Snoke’s good side, but he shed no tears on the former leader’s death. He _did_ wonder how a young scavenger from Jakku could have managed to kill such a powerful being, let alone subdue all the guards and leave Ren unconscious. He was sure that his nemesis had a hand in what came to pass, but without evidence, he had no case.

As he reached his quarters, he entered the space that served as his office and immediately noted something was amiss. It felt like someone had been in there recently, and as he reached his desk, he could see why. A small box was left in the center, with a note that read **To Be Delivered to General Armitage Hux of the First Order. With Regards, a Friend.**

Hux sat in his chair and carefully opened the box. Inside sat a holocube. When he activated it, the footage he saw made his face light up with malicious delight. It was Kylo Ren using the Force to cut Supreme Leader Snoke in half with a lightsaber. 

 

* * *

 

Leia Organa was getting too old for this. That had been her state of mind as she sat at the console in the control room of the base, watching a feed of the mission to Ollee. Now completed and successful, they were waiting for the strike team to return. She used her cane to help her rise from her seat and make her way through the halls. She hated that she still had to use it some days, but that was the price of getting older, right?

She found the person she was looking for running through a practice session in the training area. Rey moved through her forms with her saberstaff, and Leia was content to watch her for a bit, mesmerized by her movements. Her youthful optimism reminded Leia of how Luke was when they were younger, going against everyone else to save their father from the Dark side. If Luke could save Vader, then Rey could certainly bring Ben back to her.

Rey had sensed the General was there watching her, but decided to finish what she was doing before acknowledging her presence. In truth, Leia’s Force signature was comforting to her. She had started to think of the older woman as a sort of mother, and not just because of the future she saw with Ben. She had kept her secret from the rest of the Resistance, and offered her nothing but understanding for the things she was going through. Having finished, Rey extinguished her ‘staff and turned to face Leia. “How did it go?”

“Your intel was correct, and the mission was a success.”

Rey breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s good to hear.”

“Did Ben give you that info?” She didn’t look accusatory, only hopeful.

“Yes, he did. He said our people would be ambushed if we had stuck to the original plan.”

“And you believed him?”

“Ben has never lied to me. I didn’t think he would start now.”

“But why would he help us if he’s still serving as Supreme Leader?” It was a genuine question, and one Rey had asked herself as well.

“I think he has every intention of coming back, but he wants to earn a measure of trust first. He hasn’t outright told me what his plan is, only to be patient - which is getting a little hard at this point.” Rey knew all about waiting, but she wanted Ben safe in her arms _now_. She’d been going crazy thinking about their kiss, and wondering what it meant going forward, and how she couldn’t wait to do it again.

Leia ruminated on that for a second. “You really _do_ love him, don’t you?”

Rey shot her head up, eyes wide. She couldn’t lie to Leia. She nodded a quick affirmation.

“Good. Then keep it up.”

 

* * *

 

Ben was dreaming. He had to be because Rey was in his arms and all was right with the worlds. The sun shone in through the transparisteel on her naked form beside him in bed. He could see all the freckles on her tan skin, forming beautiful constellations on her flesh. He wanted to memorize each one. As he leaned in to kiss her, everything changed. Now they were on a battlefield. It was raining, and Rey was lying in his arms, bloody and unconscious. He took her shoulders and shook her. “Rey? REY!”

Suddenly her eyes opened and she gasped, bringing as much air into her lungs as possible. She looked at him wild-eyed and grabbed his tunic. “Get out - NOW!”

He awoke with a start, sweat dripping from his forehead and making the sheet cling to his body. What did the dream mean? Was Rey really in trouble? Was she reaching out through the bond, or was this a vision from the Force? Or did he just eat too late and have a crazy dream? No, Ben had always had nightmares, usually the product of Snoke in his mind. This dream _had_ to mean something. Tentatively, he reached out through the bond, looking to soothe his burdened mind with the knowledge that at least she was safe. _Rey, darling, are you there?_

He felt a jolt as she awoke to the sound of his voice in her head. _Ben - is everything okay?_

_I had a dream; in it, you warned me to ‘get out.’ I wanted to make sure you were alright._

_I’m fine, Ben. But… maybe the Force is trying to tell you something. I have a bad feeling about this. Maybe you should just come here, to me. I don’t care what you have to offer the Resistance. It’s because of you the strike team survived and Leia knows that, too._

_You told her?_

_Of course I did! Ben, she’s proud of you for making good decisions. We both want you home. I want to hold you for real, not just through the bond._

_I want that, too. I want to kiss you in person._

He could feel the tension pulsing through the bond, the invisible cord that tied their souls together being pulled taut. He hadn’t gathered as much data as he wanted to give his mother, but maybe it would be enough. And if not, if they locked him up, at least he’d be near Rey. He had been silent for too long, and she could feel his wheels turning. _Ben, are you still there?_

_Yes._ He paused, but realized his mind was made up. _Okay, I’ll come to you._

He could feel her relief and excitement through the bond. She really did want him there. _When?_ she asked.

_I’ll leave first thing in the morning, about five standard hours from now._

_I’ll be waiting. I won’t let anyone hurt you - I promise. See you soon._

_See you soon._ He rolled over and tried to go back to sleep, but he found he was too afraid the dream would return. Instead, he started to make preparations for his trip.

 

He packed light, carrying one bag that held some clothes, necessities, and the spare datapad that he’d loaded with info on First Order allies, trading routes, and a couple other pieces of info he thought could be useful to General Leia Organa. He hoped it was enough to convince his mother and the rest of the Resistance to at least grant him his life. 

He made his way to docking bay, hoping it would be a small crew on guard this morning. He could easily make a couple stormtroopers forget they had seen the Supreme Leader go off on his own. However, as he approached his ship, it became clear that would not be the case. About two dozen stormtroopers came out and surrounded him, weapons raised. Slowly, condescendingly, Hux walked out and looked him over. “Going somewhere, Ren?”

He tried to remain composed. “What is the meaning of this?’

Hux held the holocube out in front of him and Ben watched in horror as the footage he had carefully deleted sprang to life. He cringed as his general spoke, “Kylo Ren, you are hereby deposed as Supreme Leader of the First Order and charged with the assassination of the late Supreme Leader Snoke as well as treason against the Order.”

Ben was livid. He imagined crushing Hux’s windpipe and watching the life drain from his pale face. He looked around at the stormtroopers holding their blasters at the ready. He _could_ try to use the Force to get out of the situation, but he’d never make it out alive. Hux had probably already given orders to shoot his ship on site. He simply glared as the binders were put on him and they led him away.

 

* * *

 

Rey was getting worried. With the time that Ben had said he was leaving plus the time it would take to travel to her location, he should have been here by now. She was going stir crazy. She grabbed her saberstaff and headed outside for the first time in days. The planet they were on had varied terrain, but the area where the base was located was near a swampy forest. She walked to the edge of the tall grass where the trees started and ran through her forms. It was then that she felt a shock, like an electrical current go through her right arm. “Ow!” she yelped and looked around for anything that might have caused it. There was nothing. 

She knew immediately that it wasn’t her pain and reached out through the bond. _Ben!_ she cried, desperate to know he was safe. 

His presence was weak. _Rey._

Using all her strength, she pulled on their connection, pursuing the thread all the way to where he was. When she opened her eyes, she was in a cold metal room, a lab of some sort. In the center stood a large cage with Ben inside. He was sitting on the floor of it, hunched over, arms resting on his knees. He had a black eye. Her insides twisted into knots to see him this way. “Ben!” She rushed over the cage, reaching her arm inside. As she did so, she accidentally brushed one of the bars, sending a jolt through her body.

“Rey, don’t!” He cautioned too late.

It hurt much in the way she felt his pain earlier. It wasn’t searing, but she retracted her arm nonetheless. She imagined it hurt worse when he touched it. “What is this?”

“It’s a special cage for holding Force-users. Hux sure did his homework,” he grunted. “I can’t get out of here, but at least I can still see you.” He smiled slightly, glad to be able to see her face one last time.

“What happened?” She could feel the tears threatening to spill over.

“He found out that I was the one who killed Snoke and had me arrested. They’re bringing me to Milvayne where my execution will be broadcast on the Holonet so ‘everyone can see what happens to traitors of the First Order.’ His words, not mine.”

Rey was crying now. “No. I won’t _let_ them.”

Ben could feel her anger radiate through their bond. If only he had gone with her earlier… “What are you going to do, Rey? The Resistance won’t help you. I’m the enemy. Besides, this is what I deserve.” He sounded defeated, lost.

“Stop talking like that! It’s not true.”

“I killed my father, Rey. And I’ve killed others, too. I should pay for my crimes, right? In a way, it’s a good thing. Now I can’t hurt you like I would inevitably wind up doing. I won’t be able to screw up something that we never start.”

“Ben-”

“Rey, I’m serious. Don’t try to come and save me. If you do, they’ll kill you, too. And I can handle a lot of things, but you dying because of me is not one of them.” He paused as a tear dripped down his cheek and she could feel his presence weaken. “We don’t have much time left- I can’t use the Force for long in here.”

“I-” she started to say, but he held up a hand to stop her from speaking.

“I love you, Rey. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I don’t regret a single moment of our time together. They can take my life, but I will never stop loving you.”

The look in his eyes bore through her very soul. “Ben, I-” she began again but their connection was lost, and she was standing alone in the knee-high grass again.

“NOOOOOOOO!” The scream that Rey let out was almost primal, piercing the forest around her and causing birds to fly away. She collapsed to her knees as sobs began to wrack her body. She pulled out fistfuls of the grass around her and yelled into the void, “I love you, too!”

 

Then as the grief subsided, a surge of anger took its place. She lit her saber and started cutting at the nearby trees, grunting and screaming as she razed everything in her path. She’d never felt such a blind rage before and by the time she finished exerting herself, she had worn down a circle of destruction several meters wide. Shakily she extinguished her blades and holstered her saberstaff. Then she carefully stepped over the fallen limbs and detritus, making her way back to the base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never directly mentioned where the Resistance was holed up, but I imagined some place like [Taris](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Taris)
> 
>  
> 
> [Milvayne](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Milvayne)
> 
>  
> 
> [Universal Energy Cage](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Universal_Energy_Cage) \- I've used some artistic license with this one, but I wanted the bond to still be able to be open while Ben was in captivity.
> 
> One more chapter to go! Hope you’re liking the story so far- I live for your comments! :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At last, we have the final chapter! It's pretty much double the length of the other chapters, but I didn't have the heart to split it in two. I hope you enjoyed taking this journey with me - leave a comment if you did!

The strike team had just returned from Ollee, so everyone was gathered in the hangar. Rey ignored the stares as she stalked right up to General Organa, who was talking to Commander Dameron, still in his flight-suit. “They have Ben and they’re going to execute him. You have to let me take a ship to rescue him!”

Everyone was looking at her now. Finn and Rose were nearby and came over when they saw her approach. Leia turned from Poe and directed her attention to Rey. “What?”

“General Hux found out Ben killed Snoke for me and they’ve sentenced him to death! Please I need to leave as soon as possible. They’re taking him to Milvayne.”

“Who’s Ben?” Rose said to Finn.

“I think she means Kylo Ren,” Finn replied.

This caught Poe’s attention, “If the First Order is executing Kylo Ren, then let them! One less thing for us to do.”

Rey shot him an angry look. “It’s because of _him_ that you’re alive right now. He’s the one who gave me the information about Ollee.”

“Now hang on, you said you’d had a vision,” he stepped closer, pointing his finger at her.

“Because I knew you wouldn’t take the information otherwise.” She took a step forward as well.

Finn stepped between the two of them, stopping things from reaching a boiling point. “Rey, why do you care?”

Tears filled Rey’s eyes and the realization bloomed in Rose’s mind over a conversation they had several days earlier. “Because she loves him,” she said, as it if were the most logical conclusion.

“No… that’s not true. Is it?” Finn looked at her with confusion.

This wasn’t how she wanted to tell him. She wanted to explain about the bond and how she’d gotten to know the real Ben Solo, but she didn’t have time for that. “Yes, it’s true.” She sniffled and wiped at her tears with her arm wraps.

Finn stepped back like he’d been slapped. He was starting to wonder if he really knew Rey at all. Chewbacca walked up behind Rey and set a furry hand on her shoulder, saying something in Shyriiwook. Leia, who’d been silently watching this whole exchange, finally said, “Good idea, Chewie. You go with her and take the _Falcon_.”

Poe whipped his head around, looking at Leia, “General, you’re just going to let her go?”

She stared him down. “Yes, because he’s _my_ fucking son.”

The whole crowd erupted into murmurs at this. Rey had never known who knew about Kylo Ren’s true identity. It may have been common knowledge to some, but the Resistance had grown so much recently. It didn’t matter, anyway. She was going to save Ben Solo or die trying.

“Then I’m going with you,” Finn declared. 

“Finn, you don’t have to-” Rey began.

“Look. I made the right choice by defecting, and Rose helped me make another right choice by believing in the cause and fighting for it. But there are a lot of troopers just like me who weren’t given a choice. If you’re going to face the First Order, I’m coming with you.”

“Okay then. Let’s get ready.”

 

* * *

 

Hux walked around the cage that held Kylo Ren as his prisoner. He couldn’t stop the content feeling that was washing over him at the sight of his nemesis behind bars. “I’ve hope you made peace with your maker, Ren. We should be arriving at Milvayne early tomorrow so I’ve set your execution for midday.”

Ben just glared at Hux, saying nothing. He would not give him the satisfaction of begging for his life or even starting an argument.

“The thing I can’t wrap my mind around is why you did it. I know the scavenger girl was there, but it appears she had nothing to do with murdering Snoke. If you were going to make a power grab, it seems like odd timing…” He drifted off as he made another lap around the cage. Seeing how Ren was visibly upset when he brought up the girl, he finally connected the dots. “Oh no, don’t tell me… that’s just too rich. You’re in love with her, aren’t you?” He sneered.

“Just, leave her out of it, okay?” Ben muttered as he dropped his head to his knees so he wouldn’t have to look at Hux anymore.

“You _are_. Pity. I always knew you were weak. Well, let’s hope your precious little Jedi attempts some daring rescue so she can join you in front of the firing squad. Enjoy your last night.” 

After Hux had left the room, Ben let himself breathe normally again. _Rey, please don’t come for me_ , he silently pleaded. He had the distinct feeling that she wouldn’t listen. After all, if the situation were reversed, he would stop at nothing to see her safe.

 

* * *

 

Once they were in hyperspace, Rey left Chewie alone in the cockpit to go talk to Finn. She found him sitting at the Dejarik table, deep in thought. “This seat taken?” she asked, sliding in next to him.

“I think you owe me an explanation.”

“I know. I know I do.” She told him everything, about her time with Luke, the Force bond, how she had naively tried to turn Ben back to the Light.

“So he really killed Snoke to save you?”

“Yes, he did.”

“And Leia’s known about this the whole time?”

“Not the whole time. She found out about a week ago. She caught me talking to him.”

“I bet that was awkward.” Leave it to Finn to state the obvious.

Rey laughed. “It really was.”

“So what does it feel like? Being bonded to him… what made you change your mind?” He was really trying to understand.

“Ben has been fighting his whole life against people’s expectations of him. Snoke really twisted his perception and held him captive to these lies for years. He felt abandoned by the family that loved him, and then when he thought his uncle was going to murder him, he just snapped. I’m not excusing anything he’s done- he knows he’s made mistakes. He’s been so lonely and scared this whole time, always trying to be someone he’s not… and I don’t know, when I’m with him I feel like I’m _whole_. The part of me that’s been searching for something my entire life, that empty place inside, it goes away when we’re together.” She was starting to cry now as she looked at Finn. “I’m so scared of losing him.”

“Hey,” he grabbed her hand and held it reassuringly. “We’re gonna save him. You need to believe that. I’m not going to pretend I understand what you guys have, but you know you can do _anything_ , Rey.”

She smiled at him. “Thanks. What’s it like for you and Rose?”

“Well there’s no mystical entity drawing us together…” He arched his brow and received a punch in the arm in reply. “Ow! I don’t know, she makes me want to be a better person. She’s just so _good_.”

“Well, I think that’s lovely. I really like Rose. Ben was there for me, when I thought I was all alone and no one could possibly understand what I was going through, he did. He makes me feel safe.”

“But does he make you happy?”

She thought about his arm around her, how he liked to tease her, the feel of his lips on hers. “Yeah, he does.”

“Then that’s what matters. Let’s go save your boyfriend.”

_Boyfriend_. She had never thought of it like that before. Ben was so much more than that. He was her soulmate, her other half. But hearing Finn say it so casually, she decided she liked it. _I hope we’re not too late_ , she thought.

 

* * *

 

Vendara Ren rolled over in bed. The woman with the flaming red hair was still sleeping soundly beside her. Pheobe, she thought her name was. It was of little consequence. Vendara didn’t form attachments. Unlike some people she knew. Her visions along with the footage she had pulled and sent to Hux led her to believe that Kylo Ren killed his master for love. What a fool he was, first to leave her alive, and now to fall in love. And not just fall for anyone, but a Jedi at that. She snickered to herself at the irony as she put her clothes back on and slipped out of the motel room. 

As she walked back through the connecting cantina, she noticed the holoscreen displaying the most recent news. **Kylo Ren to be executed live at twelve hundred Galactic Standard Time**. She smirked as she made a mental note to take her lunch somewhere with large holoscreen.

 

* * *

 

The facility on Milvayne was more like an arena, complete with stands for an audience. There would be no crowd today as the execution would be broadcast to the galaxy at large, but Hux had great plans for this place. It would become a display of the First Order’s might in the years to come. He had taken every precaution, making sure that the accused was transported down to the surface in his cage. This took a lot of strategy, but in the end it was doable. He couldn’t take the risk of letting Ren be able to use his Force abilities. While he loathed the man, he didn’t underestimate his power. A voice niggled at the back of Hux’s mind that maybe he shouldn’t have made such a display out of this and instead taken care of the matter quietly. But no, this was the best way to prove his power to those that would question the Order’s hold on the galaxy. If even the fearsome Kylo Ren was put down for his crimes, how much more would the ordinary citizens be punished?

The arena for now was empty and sterile, white tile covering the large open floor, drains every several meters in case things got messy. There were sturdy poles to which the prisoners would be fastened while awaiting the firing squad. And at the front of the oval shaped amphitheater stood an ornate stage of onyx and marble, with seats for Hux and his officers to preside over the executions. Soon he would make Kylo Ren the first death here. It was almost enough to bring a tear to his eye.

As he walked off the floor, and into one of the hallways leading out, he barked at a unit of stormtroopers, “Get the prisoner ready!”

“Yes, sir!” came the reply but as soon as he walked away one of the troopers hung his head. He had a bad feeling about this.

 

* * *

 

Chewie stayed with the _Falcon_. There was no way to smuggle him into the facility, and they needed him for what would hopefully be a quick getaway. Rey wore the beacon on her wrist in case anything should go wrong. Finn had a comm to contact the Resistance just in case. As they crept up to the entrance, Rey used the Force to keep people from noticing them. Try as he might, Finn was not able to fully erase the awed look from his face. He sometimes couldn’t believe how powerful she was.

It was easy to escape notice, but getting in was going to be a little more difficult. There were two stormtroopers stationed at the door, and they had agreed on as little bloodshed as possible. So they went with diversion. Finn walked out in front of them. “Hey remember me? It’s FN-21871.” He waved his arms around wildly.

As the troopers walked away from the door and told him to put his hands up, Rey sneaked up behind them. She put her hand up to the first trooper’s temple and he collapsed. “Hey, what the-” His partner whirled around but was also met by Rey’s outstretched hand and fainted.

“Nice trick,” Finn said as he helped her disrobe the troopers.

“Thanks, I learned it from Ben.” She left out the part where he had done it to her first.

They hurriedly put on the downed troopers’ armor. As ill-fitting as it was, Rey had just enough room to wedge her lightsaber in the leg piece without it being too uncomfortable. She looked over to Finn, who was slipping the helmet on over his head. Once he was fully concealed, she gave a small shudder as she realized this was how he used to look all the time.

“Help me with this guy, would you?” He had one arm underneath the smaller of the two soldiers. They needed his handprint to gain access to the facility.

Rey grabbed the trooper’s other arm and together they dragged him to the door, pressing his hand to the panel. Then before going in, they tucked both bodies into a nook where they hopefully would wake in a daze later.

She didn’t know which way to go, so she closed her eyes and reached out for any sign of Ben’s presence. She could feel so many people in this building, most of them in some form of distress. Then, she sensed him. He was weak, but he was there and still alive. “I gotta go this way,” she told Finn, pointing left. “But there’s a mass of stormtroopers with troubled minds that way.” 

“Okay, then I guess this is where we split up.”

“Listen, I don’t know if I’ll be able to get Ben out right away. If I can’t, the execution will be held in the arena. Meet me there.”

“I will.”

 

* * *

 

Finn heard them before he saw them. That was his first clue that something was off. Normally stormtroopers were the seen and not heard type. When he rounded the corner, he was not prepared. There were at least a hundred troopers in the room, but they had divided themselves off into factions and the ones arguing in the center had their helmets removed. As soon as he came upon them, all the heads turned his direction.

He gulped in hesitation, then slowly removed his helmet. “My name is Finn, formerly FN-2187. You probably haven’t heard of me.”

The closest unmasked trooper, a blonde girl who looked to be a couple years younger than Finn spoke, “We know exactly who you are.” She walked over to him and he backed up a little before she thrust out her hand. “We heard about what happened with Phasma. I’d really like to shake your hand, Finn.”

Awkwardly he grasped her hand and shook it. Then he looked around at the other troopers, who were one by one removing their helmets to get a better look at him. They were rapt with attention and waiting for his next words. “Right. Well, let me tell you why I’m here.”

 

* * *

 

It was hot inside the stormtrooper armor and hard to see. Rey knew she didn’t have much time, but she made the detour anyway. She prided herself on being a good judge of character, and so it made sense that Hux would keep Ben’s lightsaber in a place of importance. He wouldn’t have left it on the ship, nor would he carry it on his person. She let her inner compass guide her to what was likely the general’s office in this facility. Perceiving a life on the other side of the door, she hid in an alcove until the odious man left. When she caught just a glimpse of red hair moving past, she had to resist the urge to jump out of the shadows and kill him right then. It wouldn’t do Ben any good for her to lose her temper now.

Before the door could fully close behind him, Rey slipped silently into the office. Behind the desk was a shelf built in to the wall and there, under a glass case was Ben’s lightsaber. Like it was some kind of trophy he had won in defeating him. She swallowed her disgust as she removed it from the case and stowed it away in her armor. 

After leaving the office, she hurried to where she sensed they were keeping him, but on arrival realized she was too late. A small battalion was leading the prisoner to the arena. He had binders on and looked weaker than she had ever seen him. Her chest tightened, heart contracting at the sight. She couldn’t feel him through the bond; he was closed off to her. It didn’t stop her from thinking, _I love you, Ben. It’s going to be okay_. The odds were stacked against them, that much was true. But as Han would’ve said, “Never tell me the odds.” Rey thought about him and hoped that she would be successful in doing what he had not, saving Ben Solo.

She trailed behind the troops and Ben at a safe distance, using the Force to conceal her presence. It was the hardest thing she’d ever done, watching them fasten his binders to the pole in the center of the arena, the look of utter defeat on his face. She couldn’t react without giving herself away, so Rey did what she always had done. She steeled herself and she waited.

 

* * *

 

Ben was berating himself inwardly. He had told Rey not to come, and apparently she had listened. He foolishly had allowed a sliver of hope that she might come to his rescue after all. He wondered where she was, if she would tune in to watch his demise. He morosely imagined her crying for him. She had never said she loved him back. He had hoped that she did, that he wasn’t alone in his feelings. He swallowed and bit back tears as he thought about how he’d never get to kiss her again or feel her in his arms or… well, it did no good to think about _that_. The effects of the cage had weakened him greatly, so he couldn’t even reach out through their bond to say goodbye.

He grunted as his binders were latched into place on the pole in the center of the arena. It was a killing floor. He hadn’t even known this place existed. What other things had Hux been up to behind his back? Apparently a lot. He was never cut out to be Supreme Leader anyway. It was never what he really wanted. He thought about his mother and her band of rebels. If Hux was going to try to take over the galaxy, he only hoped that they would give him hell in the process.

The ginger general was now stepping up to a podium on the stage at one side of the arena. Behind him sat an array of First Order officers, all with cautious looks on their faces. He turned to face the imager that would be recording this to stream across the Holonet. “Today we witness justice and order in the galaxy. Kylo Ren has been charged and found guilty of assassinating Supreme Leader Snoke. I have chosen to have his execution broadcast to the outer reaches to show just what the First Order does to traitors. Let this be a lesson to all our citizens so that this is the last execution we need to have here.” 

Ben looked at Hux as he spoke and made sure his face showed only utter contempt. He didn’t take his eyes off the man even as the troopers raised their blasters to aim at him. The general spoke again to his troops, “Fire!” The sound of a dozen blasters going off at once filled Ben’s ears and he braced for impact. Only, it never came.

The trooper at the end of the firing squad had dropped her blaster when the others raised theirs. This lone trooper stood, arm outstretched, holding eleven bolts in midair. Then with a flick of her wrist, all bolts raced back to the person who had fired it, knocking them all to the ground. _Rey_. She had come for him after all. She pulled her helmet off and raced over to him, releasing his binders. He could only watch in amazement as she pulled out his lightsaber from the leg of her armor. She handed it to him. He didn’t have time to thank her as he realized Hux was directing more troops from the sidelines to advance on them. He saw Rey draw her saberstaff and went back to back with her as they received their charge.

The bond thrummed back to life, as if her presence alone was enough to give him his strength back. Rey could sense his movements and hear him in her head again. It felt right after being empty for the better part of a day. _Just like old times, huh?_ Ben said through the bond.

_Indeed_. After fighting by his side in Snoke’s throne room, taking on a bunch of stormtroopers felt like old hat. In fact, Rey was disturbed to see them fall, knowing they were only following orders. Three different soldiers were coming at her, and she leaned back into Ben for leverage, kicking one and springing off him to spear her blade through another. Across the arena, she noticed the other officers had fled and Hux was angrily comming for backup. She smirked as she cut the third trooper down.

He could feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins, excitement pulsing through their bond. He should be dead, but he wasn’t. Instead he was fighting for his life with Rey at his back. Ben felt her lean into him and gladly provided the thrust she needed to vanquish her foe. They were in complete harmony once more, and he could feel that it was right. That the Force had willed this. Then he saw Hux calling for backup and watched as throngs of stormtroopers poured in from opposite ends of the arena. They were sorely outnumbered. Ben’s face fell.

The stormtroopers filtered into the arena, covering most of the floor. The battalion coming in from the right surrounded Ben and Rey. The one coming in from the left fanned out, some of them near the podium where Hux stood red-faced. “What are you waiting for? Kill them!” 

The troopers near Rey and Ben raised their weapons but were distracted as the stormtrooper facing General Hux took off his helmet. “I don’t think they’ll be doing that, General.”

“FN-2187. Not you again.”

“Yeah, me again. Despite what your officers may tell you, I was _not_ just a bug in the system. There’s a lot of us who are tired of being forced into becoming your killing machines.” All the troopers who stood behind Finn removed their helmets, too, revealing the people underneath. The group surrounding Ben and Rey did not. Finn turned to face them. “We were never given a choice. Stolen from our families, forced to brutal training and to follow orders blindly. We’re tired of being just another number. So I’m asking you, make the choice for yourselves. Are you just a number? Or are you like me, a person with a name?”

Rey watched cautiously as some of the troopers dropped their weapons. She had never been more proud of her friend. However, she noticed many of them did not. All it took was one to fire at her; she deflected the blast with her saberstaff, but it was then that all hell broke loose. It was hard to tell which troopers were with Finn and which were still a slave to the First Order. At least she knew not to harm the ones who had removed their helmets. 

“Finn!” A voice that sounded slightly familiar yelled. He turned just in time to see a stray bolt whizzing its way towards his head. At the last second it froze and was redirected away. Then Finn realized who had yelled his name and saved his life. He looked to see Ben with his arm outstretched towards him. He nodded a thanks, which Ben returned before resuming the fight.

Rey saw this exchange from the corner of her eye and felt a swell of pride. She couldn’t let herself get distracted, though. She deflected another bolt with her staff and flung an oncoming trooper into the wall with the Force. Soon the white tile that covered the floor was littered with blood stains and she felt sick. Then she noticed that Ben wasn’t by her side anymore.

Ben approached the podium with slow steps. His outstretched hand lazily deflected any stray bolts headed his way. He relished the look of fear in Hux’s eyes as he approached, but almost admired the fact that he didn’t run. He climbed the stairs of the ornate stage and stopped just in front of the general. Around the arena, the tide had shifted in the rebels’ favor. Finn was commanding his forces like a born leader, and Rey had escaped the fray to watch what was unfolding on the stage. Hux turned to him. “Well, it looks like you’ve won, Kylo Ren. Are you going to kill me now?”

“My _name_ is Ben Solo. And no, I’m not going to kill you, Hux. Men like us need to pay for our crimes.”

“I always knew you were weak.”

“Mercy and compassion aren’t weaknesses. They’re strengths.” Ben had said all he wanted to say. He suddenly felt pity for the man in front of him. Surely Hux had never loved anyone in his life. Finn and several other troopers were headed his way. He’d let them deal with him. He turned his back and walked down the stairs. 

Hux was seething. How dare he gloat and then not even have the decency to kill him. Suddenly he saw his blaster on the stage floor, dropped in all the chaos. He bent to pick it up and aimed at Ren’s back. Then he thought better of it and aimed to the right. “That’s where you’re wrong!” he shouted as he shot Rey square in the chest.

_She is beautiful_ , he thought, even in the too-big armor of a stormtrooper. Ben was heading straight to her when he saw the bolt go into her chest, knocking her to the ground. “Rey!” he screamed as he ran to her side. He scooped her up into his arms. “No, no, no.”

Finn watched in slow motion as his best friend was shot and fell to the ground. “NOOOO!” he yelled charging the stage where Hux was sneering, blaster still in hand. Finn didn’t hesitate. He fired three bolts into the general’s chest. 

Rey was still breathing, but it came in ragged spurts. Ben held her close. “You’re going to be okay.”

“You said… you never lied to me. Don’t start now.” She was actually smiling, and he felt like his heart was tearing in two. “I’m proud of you, Ben. No matter what happens.”

“Stop talking like that. I told you not to come for me.”

“Like I was ever going to listen. I love you. Of course I came.” Her voice was rough and quiet.

Tears streamed down Ben’s cheeks. “Don’t leave me.” 

She didn’t answer. 

He knows what he has to do, but he’s never been good at it. Force healing has always been hard for him. He thought about his Uncle Luke, more master than uncle, chiding Ben for not being able to tap into the Light properly. It’s a gentler voice that he hears now. _You can do this, Ben. Trust the Force_. And so he did. He removed the outer breastplate of Rey’s armor and positioned his hands over her wound. He closed his eyes, digging deep into the Force, letting the Light spill over into every fractured place in his soul. He let go of every resentment, every bitter memory, every warped thing that Snoke told him, the dark legacy of Darth Vader. He let it all go, asking the Light to permeate his every fiber. Then he channeled it all into Rey.

Across the arena, Finn watched dumbfounded as the man who used to be Kylo Ren hovered over Rey. Translucent bands of golden energy emanated from his hands into her body, weaving what was broken back together. He watched as her pale body became flush again, her chest rising as she took in a breath, her eyes fluttering open to look at the man she loves. He saw that man look back at her, any evil that used to be present completely gone. If he had once been worried that this man did not love his friend, he was worried no longer.

It was silent and empty, but now… now everything was vibrant. Rey was very much alive and looking into the face of Ben. _Her_ Ben. He had healed her. She didn’t know that was something you could do. She reached up and touched his scar, letting out a little sigh as he kissed her palm. “You saved me,” she whispered.

“No, Rey. _You_ saved _me_.” Confident that she had gotten enough air back into her lungs, he covered her mouth with his.

 

* * *

 

It turned out that in the chaos that had ensued after the failed execution of Kylo Ren, no one had thought to stop the broadcast. This meant that the whole galaxy had witnessed the Stormtrooper Rebellion and the rebirth of Ben Solo. Riots and uprisings in many systems were accompanied by depictions of Finn, Rey, and Ben, all painted as heroes in their own right. It was this fact that had Leia smiling as she brought her son’s case before the rest of the Resistance. 

It was this fact that had a venomous Vendara Ren storming out of the cantina in a blind rage, hopping on her speeder and zooming off into the night.

Shortly after the confrontation on Milvayne, the Resistance troops arrived. The First Order chain of command was fuzzy in the wake of Armitage Hux’s death, with General Edrison Peavey finally taking the lead and signing the treaty with General Leia Organa. It didn’t hurt that there were a couple hundred stormtroopers willing to defect to the Resistance if the treaty were not signed. Both sides agreed that to quell the ever-spreading unrest, some kind of agreement would need to be reached. There had been much destruction in recent years, and the cycle of violence would only continue if they kept waging this war.

Ben himself was oblivious to most of this, having spent the last three days in a Resistance holding cell. He expected as much, and honestly wasn’t complaining. He was alive, and Rey came to see him several times a day. She had just been granted access to see him and he couldn’t help the smile that overtook him as she flung herself into his arms and kissed him soundly. “I think they’ve made a decision. I heard your mother’s coming to see you.”

“Why are you so happy then? They could still decide to kill me.”

“They won’t. I know no one has let you see anything, but it’s all over the Holonet. You’re practically a galactic hero. The First Order leader who turned on his own, helped the rebellion, and brought his Jedi girlfriend back from the dead.”

Ben could feel his ears going red at the world _girlfriend_ , but he still scoffed. “I’m sure you’re exaggerating.”

“I’m not! Doesn’t matter anyway. If they did sentence you to death, I’d break you out before anything could happen. Chewie’s already waiting for my signal.”

The mischievous gleam in her eye was too much for him to take. He leaned down to kiss her again. “I love you.”

“I know,” she replied.

 

Almost on cue, he felt the familiar presence of his mother before he saw her walk in. Rey stepped aside so Leia could hug her son. Ben towered over her, but he still let himself sink into her embrace. It had been too long. When they finally let go, her eyes were glistening. “You’ve been granted a full pardon, Ben. You’re free to go… unless you want to stay.” Her tone was hopeful.

He was floored. He had expected the worst, but this was a different kind of overwhelming. He sat down on the cot. “Pardon? But why?”

“No one wants to see a war hero locked up or put to death. You’ve become a symbol of hope, Ben. That you’re never too far gone to make the right choice.”

Rey sat down beside him and nuzzled his shoulder. “See? I told you.”

Leia smiled as she watched her son kiss the top of Rey’s head. There was still so much work to be done, and she didn’t know what the future held, but her son was back. That was the most important thing.

 

* * *

 

In the end, Ben and Rey decided they needed to leave for awhile. It wouldn’t be permanent, he promised Leia. They would definitely be back, but they had much to learn about the Force together. They couldn’t do that as well as help the Resistance and First Order build something new out of the ashes.

Finn was hauling one more crate onto the _Falcon_. “You sure you have to leave?”

“It won’t be forever. Besides, you’ll be busy with all those troopers you freed.” She wrapped him up in a fierce hug. 

Rose came up next and gave Rey a quick hug before sliding her arm around Finn. “That’s my man, leader of the Stormtrooper Rebellion.”

Ben rolled his eyes as he walked up the ramp. “Wouldn’t have been able to lead the rebellion if I hadn’t saved his life.”

“I said thank you!” Finn huffed. He and Ben had reached a sort of understanding, but he worried that Han Solo's son would hold this life debt over him indefinitely.

“Okay, are we done with the sappy goodbyes yet? I want to get back before the festivities start.” Poe said as he put a hand on Rey’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, by the way. For doubting you… and Ben.”

“Water under the bridge,” she replied.

Chewie popped his head out of the doorway and growled. “Yeah, yeah. I’m coming!” Rey gave her friends one last look. “See you all later.”

Once aboard, she took the copilot’s seat. Ben was sitting beside her staring at the controls. The plan was to drop Chewie off on Kashyyk for some much needed time with his family, then head to Ahch-To. Rey was not looking forward to seeing the caretakers again, but they both agreed it felt like the right decision. “You okay?” she asked him.

He took a minute to shake it off. “Yeah, give me a sec.” He stood and pulled a pair of golden dice out of his pocket, hanging them back in their rightful place. He gave Rey’s hand a squeeze before sitting back down. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Force healing](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Force_healing/Legends)
> 
> I know, I know I'm a sap. I had to give our star-crossed lovers a happy ending. 
> 
> Also having Leia say "fuck" is my little nod to Carrie. We still miss you, Princess.
> 
> Let me know in the comments if you'd like to see an epilogue with an *ahem* increased rating (if you catch my drift). I already have a plan for this, but I want to know if it's something you lovely readers would be interested in! I'm not sure how soon I'll write it, though, as I need to get back to my Reylo Alias AU. 
> 
> If you want, come say hi on [tumblr](https://monsterleadmehome.tumblr.com/)!


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